What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
