Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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