the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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