I love black thongs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
