C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
