brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
