i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
