i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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