We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
