No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
