friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
