One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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