Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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