I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
