They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
