I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
