So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
