Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
