So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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