you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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