Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
