hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
