The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
