Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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