her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
