The maid of honor just puked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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