what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
