Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
