I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
