and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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