Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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