What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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