In the future we'll all be gay
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
