i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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