No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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