Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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