it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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