Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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