the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
