I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
