First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
