No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
