hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize