I hope mine doesn't look like that
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
