The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
