I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
