Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
