he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
