i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
