Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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