She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
