Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
