And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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