Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
