Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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